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Addiction recovery. Key strategy- work to FINISH THINGS! Addicts do not finish things- prefer to "keep options open." Thrives in unfinished business. Starting more than you can finish leads to CRISIS. ENDING THINGS adds substantially to recovery. Addicts avoid completing their conversations. Important feelings and facts are not communicated. Conflict not resolved. PAIN ACCUMULATES. Increase PAIN AND COST TO STOP. Childhood needed something you didn't receive- trust, security, safety, non-sexual affection, both parents together. Normalcy. RESPONSIBILITY TO THOSE YOU HAVE HURT. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARE TRANSFERRED TO CHILDREN. Addictive sex feels shameful, illicit, stolen, exploitative, and joyless. Healthy sex- adds to self-esteem, is mutual, intimate, fun, and playful. Fighting= act of trust- focus on issues. - Give outcome to God. Horniness = loneliness. When in doubt, don't. Secrets will separate you from others in recovery. Get a pet. Avoid the feeling that you are a victim. Be gentle w/ yourself about old tortuous conflicts. They are not about you! They never were! Recovery= burst of creativity. NURTURING- Learning how to care for themselves and to allow others to care for them IS essential RECOVERY TASK. Intimacy= shared experiences! FIDELITY TO YOURSELF is the ultimate act of faithfulness to the other. Trust yourself. It's as hared for your partner as it is for you! Admit mistakes. Share Spirituality. Have fun together- common experiences. Recovery- brings awareness of abuse. Sustain from sex w/o intimacy. Talk before, during, and after. Compliment your partner. Respect boundaries. Pay attention to feelings. See Sex as a legitimate joy! Take care of your body. Express attraction. Work on friendship and companionship. Fast-forward the relationship. This is even closer to a cure. Other excellent points in II Corinthians; The Message.Read full review
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