Table Of ContentContents Foreword Introduction CHAPTER ONE THE WAY WE ARE NOW Phone Hex "Nothing Personal. We Sue All Our Friends." Men Will Be Boys... ...And Some Boys Will Stay That Way Not Your Mother's Cemetery Why the Girl Scouts Sing the Blues Pity the Toad Ruff! Ruff! Ruffage! Here, Rover, Have a Nice Bean Sprout! Bambi Deconstructed The Deeper Meaning of Mail Luck Among the Ruins CHAPTER TWO STYLE The Art of the Perfectly Awful Roasted Porcupine and Basil, With a Hint of Tire Mark Domes of Resistance The Agonies of Miss Ag And the Winner for Placing the Most Bras Is... Men in Brown Poetic Justice Hair Wars Rise Up, Ye Sleeveless Men! Men Are from Hardware Stores, Women Are From... CHAPTER THREE THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW The Fat Man Cometh Prisons, Guns and Knickers But Will the Klingons Understand Deuteronomy? The Steak Tender, the Soup Positively Rodentine The Sky, Sometimes, Is Actually Falling The Offal Truth Carrots, No Schtick Your Orthodontist and Ewe CHAPTER FOUR MEN AT WORK The Waning Days of Mr. Coke Fishing with His Nose Blowing Up on the Job "Bear Hunting Is Hard on Wives" Charles Atlas, Grandpa One Writer's Novel Problem CHAPTER FIVE OBSESSIONS The Longest Replay The Bean of His Existence Y2K Alert! (But It's ) Claim That Tune! This Cup Must Not Be Runneth Over CHAPTER SIX WHAT WE WROTE HOME ABOUT A Navy and Its Demons (and Dragons) A Fence Without End The Last Word Touring God's Country Smoke Got in Their Eyes Yes, We Have No Bananas Of Counterculture, Counter Cultures and Pig Rights A Night Among the Snipers Things Are Hopping in New York The Struggles of Otter CHAPTER SEVEN PLAY'S THE THING Fish Story Golfing in the Spring: One Hole, Par Having a Fling or Two Why Tiger Is Glad He's Not Japanese Not Your Father's Buick CHAPTER EIGHT NOTIONS AND CONTROVERSIES Naked Assumptions Little Feats China, in Stride No, This Isn't How They Invented Chicken Tenders Why the Future Isn't Coming Up Roses CHAPTER NINE SCRIBES, DESCRIBING Traveling Cheap, but Not Sleazy In Praise of Small Words Z-less in Zanzibar Being Hip in Cairo Check Out That New Model -- Uh, I Don't Mean the Car Puzzlements Play It Again, Ma'am Acknowledgments
SynopsisVeteran Wall Street Journal reporter and Page One editor Ken Wells presents the most entertaining and memorable pieces from the paper's renowned middle column, an icon of American feature writing for the past 60 years. Line drawings.