I found this book appallingly useless. Dr Sears implies in this book that if you are Attachment parenting oriented you will have naturally well behaved children, which is just silly. I tried the AP philosophy with my first child and wound up with a child with sleep problems that wouldn't quit when I tried to get her to sleep in her own bed as a toddler. I followed many AP beliefs (co-sleeping, etc) and I did NOT wind up with an easy child. When I ditched the AP with my second -- OMG what a difference!!! There are so many things about this book I disagreed with, I don't know where to start. First of all he seems to promote care of your children to the point where it's at the neglect of yourself and your marriage, which is certainly not going to serve your child over the long run and will make your child think they are the center of the universe. He also thinks it's ok for a child to say they hate you, because they are just "expressing their anger"!! How disrespectful!!! He is very unconcerned with respect in this book, and has absolutely no useful tips or ideas for dealing with a strong-willed child. It's basically one big book about how great AP is and pats parents who subscribe to that on the back and makes them feel warm and fuzzy. Once I got to the point in the book where he suggests "counting" as a useful tool to get kids to behave I tossed the book into the used book store bad. I have yet to see that method work on ANY child I have EVER seen it tried on. If you want a REALLY useful book try "Boundaries with Kids" by Townsend and Cloud. That was a fantastic book with lots of useful tips and tools.Read full review
I naturally started attachment parenting our daughter and didn't know even know there were books or studies out there about those ways of parenting. This book takes what I found to come naturally and explains how it is beneficial to the child. I also appreciated the studies on hitting children because so many of our friends and family believe you must slap hands and spank. We never felt right about this and the book addresses these issues, including how certain Bible verses have been taken out of context. (The "rod" can also be translated "parental authority". Good shepards do not beat their sheep.) They explain how using natural consequences work for certain situations, such as you made this mess, now you have to help make it right. It also outlines other methods, such as timeout for older children. It is well written to walk you through the different devolpmental stages. Small children can not be disciplined the same way as older ones. The entire book was written with the mindset of teaching the child and helping them grow into responsible adults that have self-control and can discipline themselves. There are chapters that also address the parental behavior and how you might want to think about your own past experiences and whether there is anger or resentment in your discipline. Overall I found this book to be very research and experience based (they are the parents of 8 children). They admitted they have learned these things over the years and didn't start off using these methods. I would recommend reading this book to understand the principles of a healthy parent-child relationship in discipline.Read full review
The book uses the term "associative parenting", only two words & both of these words mean different things to different people. Together, the words got mixed up in the minds of the some people who reduced the Sear's book as a statement about A.P, & A.P. as nothing more than a philosophy that teaches "Baby sleeps in the Parents Bed". They stopped right here & fixated on it, reduced the book to one parenting question, a SHAME because the book has THE MOST SENSIBLE IDEAS ABOUT RAISING CHILDREN OF ANY BOOK I KNOW OF IN PRINT. I taught elementary school with the Sears book as a guide. I raised my kids similar to what the book teaches. They are turning out to be well adjusted kids who know that their parents love them completely. I think that knowing this & reminding them often by HOW WE TREATED AND DIRECTED THEM that we loved them, it's sort of hard to become a loser after you have known your entire life that your parents are wild about you. I DON'T WANT TO REDUCE MY ARGUMENT, EITHER, HOWEVER...THIS IS A GREAT BOOK THAT SHOULD BE READ BY EVERY PARENT.Read full review
Great book for parents or soon to be parents! Dr. Sears does a great job of listing all the options and then giving his opinion on why he chose his method. Excellent insights into different children's personality and their different needs. You can either read it straight through or use it as a great reference guide for different topics as they come up. Highly recommended!!
This book has helped to approach my son with love & understanding. It gives me a rock of truth to return to that imbedds my relationship with love & respect. I can parent with guidelines that speak from my heart without feeling like I am compromising my position as a parent, rather adds to it. By feeling connected to my son we create a bond based on trust.
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