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This book is life-changing for any person who struggles with the issue of codependency. I should have read it some 35 years ago, but oh well! Better late than never.
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: Pre-owned
I first learned of this book in 1989 after my divorce. My therapists still rings in my head after all these years. One good parent is better than no parent at all.it has conitinued to help through many other life problems
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: Pre-owned
I am an adult child of an alcoholic/addict, have been married to an alcoholic for 22 years, who I am currently going through a divorce with, and have a 16 year old recovering addict/alcoholic. I have been a member of Al-Anon, which is a group for those affected by another's alcoholism. I have had a copy of this book for several years and just hadn't gotten around to reading it. For some reason, on a particularly bad night, recently, I was led to pick this book up. Over the next few days I devoured the book, underlining like a madwoman. It's not that I had never heard the concepts before, but that she put them together and presented them to me in a way I finally UNDERSTOOD. She spoke my language in both this book, and the companion book, equally good, called "Beyond Codependency". I have passed the original book along, and had to order myself another copy. It is a book I know I will read and re-read many times as I continue to recover from the effects of being codependent to alcoholics and other dysfunctional people, have had on my life. I am learning it is not helping anyone to do so much for them that it drains me to the point I am in the hospital. Codependency had its hooks into me pretty heavily, hopefully you will find this book, and follow its advice earlier than I did, and before it nearly kills you. The author wholeheartedly supports 12-step groups, like Al-Anon, AA, Narcotics Anonymous, and they myriad of other groups that have sprung from AA. She also explains them accurately, dispelling many of he myths about them. Even if you don't think you have alcoholism or addiction in any of your family or friends, but perhaps you don't understand someone else's crazy behavior or your crazy reaction to it, read this book. I have learned there are many other disorders which create the havoc which can breed codendency in others, as we attempt to survive. We aren't bad or weak because we are codependent. We learned certain behaviors and techniques to survive the unsurvivable, which are not good for us, or helpful to the alcoholic. We can't help it if we have never seen normal, so we don't know what it is. Read this book. You will see a light at the end of the tunnel, or may be able to recognize someone else who needs the light. No matter how bad the situation, there is hope. I understand why I could never leave my husband, no matter how badly he treated myself or my children. I am learning to let go of the resentments and shame that froze me. I am learning to look outside myself and the sick people around me for answers so I can get well, which will help my children break the cycle of the disease.Read full review
Melody Beattie has a series of books on co-dependency and the journey to becoming the whole person you were meant to be. I had this book at one time and loved each and every page of it! Somewhere along the way I lost the book and now I can't wait to get it and rediscover it's awesome guide to completeness as a whole person! I have been a co-dependent all of my life. I came from a highly dysfuntional family background of physical, emotional, and mental abuse. I thought that I had to control my surroundings to keep me safe and "FIX" everyone who came into my life. I was always looking for "ACCEPTANCE" from my parents...and always felt my self~worth could only be proved by how much I did for others. The fact is.....you can never do that....because dysfunctional families never see anyone's value...only the negative and flaws in life. This book...along with "THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO" saved my life, my relationships with those I love and stopped the vicious circle of generational dysfunctions. Of course we never quite recover from our co-dependency issues...just like addicts/alcoholics we struggle day to day. But with the help of thses books...we learn to catch ourselves falling quicker and not getting trapped into the insanity of repeating our old behavors. "A MUST HAVE BOOK FOR THOSE STRUGGLING WITH CONTROL ISSUES AND NEVER KNOWING WHEN TO SAY NO!"Read full review
GURU on OPRAH back in the late 80s-1990s. CoDependent became the buzz word of the 90s for people who knew something was wrong but didn't quite know what to call it or what it was-similar to 'burnout' of the 80s. It is great when we can find a name for something that we suffer from-but when EVERUONE starts to have the same thing-you have to wonder if people are just jumping on the bandwagon to make a buck or to be part of the 'in crowd'.. Just like how everyone started admitting to being sexually abused-It got to the point that you didn't know who to believe anymore. The book is enlightening and many CoDa groups formed-simliar to 12 step programs-whether they exist anymore is anyone's guess-Things come and go-Remember Taebo? Jane Fonda's workout? Sweatin to the Oldies? What will be next? Personally we need something for NARCISSISTIC Disorder for this current generation!Read full review
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