Reviews
Haltzman begins this marriage guide for men by emphasizing the biological differences between men and women, arguing that traditional approaches to marriage counseling can devalue men and ignore immutable male qualities. Evolutionary biology along with explanations of the limbic system governing emotions provide the foundation for Haltzman's argument that much psychological dogma is possibly wrong, buoying married men by suggesting that it might be healthy "to keep your feelings to yourself" or that getting in touch with feelings is not a panacea for a better marriage. Then Haltzman, a psychiatry professor at Brown and operator of a Web site devoted to the "secrets of married men," launches his eight strategies with remarkable vigor. Despite the author's unorthodox theoretical groundwork, the strategies are commonsensical-make marriage your job, learn to listen, know your wife, aim to please. More important, they are extraordinarily well fleshed out and convincingly supported with useful "to do" lists and a multitude of examples. They will no doubt prove helpful to many men struggling to build a happy marriage. (Jan.) ( Publishers Weekly , November 7, 2005) Asserting that men have the power to fix their broken marriages because they are men, psychiatrist and marriage counselor Haltzman put together a guidebook that helps men give their wives exactly what they want and receive from them exactly what they hoped for the day they got married. Drawing on years of clinical experience and responses on his web site (secretsofmarriedmen.com), the author cites several "secrets" that differentiate the happily from the unhappily married men. Those who are satisfied have learned to listen to and know their wives; they aim to please and expect conflict and have learned to deal with it. Haltzman writes guy to guy, with anecdotes and humor. While it may be a challenge to get men to check out this book, it is highly recommended for all libraries. ( Library Journal ) MANLY MEN REST assured: You can hope to become a better husband without having to get in touch with your feminine side. Psychiatrist Haltzman doesn't ask men to change so much as to harness their best masculine strengths. Lively and entertaining, this broad guidebook provides Haltzman's insights illuminated by anecdotes from his online discussion forum for married men. The upshot: Men would do well to approach their marriages with the same commitment and sense of purpose that they bring to a job. ( Psychology Today ), "...the strategies are commonsensical...extraordinarily well fleshed out...convincingly supported with useful "to do" lists and a multitute of examples." ( Publishers Weekly , November , 2005)
Table of Content
Praise for The Secrets of Happily Married Men"At last, a book by real men for real men focused on the prize (a happy and contented wife) and filled with the secrets to getting more and better sex, health, wealth, and happiness. It's a road map for men, women, or anyone who works with them-straight to the promised land. No man who is married, or plans to get married, should be without this book." -Diane Sollee, founder and director, SmartMarriages.com"Secrets of Happily Married Men combines an empathy for men with an inspiring and no-excuses challenge to apply their man-made talents toward a better marriage. I recommend this well-written, honest, and non-PC book to any man who cares about love, family, and marriage." -Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author, Why Men Are the Way They Are and Father and Child Reunion"Scott Haltzman writes clearly of the gender-specific issues of men and their response to marital conflict.' His commonsense language invites readers, regardless of gender, to want more." -Andrew Slaby, M.D., Ph.D., M.P.H., clinical professor of psychiatry, New York University; author, 60 Ways to Make Stress Work for You"Scott Haltzman writes the perfect playbook for marriage. The Secrets of Happily Married Men teaches you all the right moves. It is a powerful book." -Stephen Baker, "The Touchdown Maker," New York Giants Super Bowl Champion"The insights in this book reveal a new and effective way for men and women to understand and appreciate each other. It shows what it really takes to create a loving and lasting relationship." -John Gray, author, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"This book is brilliant! It's that rare 'relationship book' that men will actually like. Frankly, if all married couples read this book and followed its guidance, the divorce rate would plummet like a rock and the level of satisfaction in marriage would skyrocket." -Peggy Vaughan, DearPeggy.com; author, The The Monogamy Myth
