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The Stuff (Blu-ray, 1985)
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- Buy It NowThe Stuff (Blu-ray, 1985)
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THE STUFF bills itself as a horror film. In the first ninety seconds of the movie, an old man stumbles across a strange, white goo bubbling up out of a snow bank. Using old man logic, he eats a dollop of it, and finding it tasty, suggests to a friend that they mine it and sell it as food. Naturally. It turns out that The Stuff is both sentient and addictive, and The Stuff spreads as one of America's favorite snack foods. I'm tempted to say that the movie is a satire on the mindless consumerism of capitalist culture (especially as it was manifest in the mid-eighties when the movie was released). There's almost no doubt that this kind of morality was on the filmmaker's minds -- there's a lot of fun poked at commercials, and there are at least half a dozen scenes where characters discuss the evils of The Stuff with big, name brand ads (Marlboro, McDonald's, and Mobile gas stations) featured prominently in the fore- and background. Aha! People are too crazy about hoarding "stuff" the movie seems to be saying in a message that's about as subtle as clown shoes. The problem is that the plotting and story are so haphazard and chaotic that the satire is lost in sheer stupidity. The movie is more senselessly frenetic than a Prodigy music video played at double the speed. I'm pretty sure that the editor must have been on an heroic amount of coke, because the pacing and cohesion of the scenes is tissue thin. Characters appear out of nowhere. Events occur rapid fire with a sporadic sense of timing. Establishing shots are nearly nonexistent. The really weird thing is that there's very obviously the mood that this is all supposed to make sense. Our protagonist -- a business spy/saboteur named Moe (played by an actor who -- very literally -- uses the exact same facial expression to convey everything from lust, horror, anger, fear, and relief) -- makes wild, logical leaps in fractions of a second, and the audience is expected to understand intuitively his train of thought. Like a five year-old kid trying to explain the plot of a Harry Potter film, the film obviously knows in its own mind what it's going for, but its execution is not just spotty: it's blotchy. It's the narrative equivalent of a Pollock painting. There's no telling what events lead to what causes, nor the motivation behind anyone's actions. And that applies just as much to The Stuff itself. The whole film is truly baffling. So why four stars? Because it's freaking hilarious. If I thought for a second that this level of humor was intentional, this film would get five stars from me. And even though I'm a connoisseur of the B-, C-, and D-grade of MST3K style viewing material, I still rarely find a film that's as cheesily satisfying as this one. From the very first frame, when the old man inexplicably starts lapping up the strange white bubbling goo, you know this movie has no idea what it's doing, and the very fact that thousands of dollars and man hours were spent in bringing it to your screen makes it even sweeter than the eponymous dessert treat. The fact that it sincerely THINKS it's making sense -- and in a dark and insistent way -- makes its lunacy all the more poignant, adorable, and hilarious. If you're a hardcore horror enthusiast who brooks no substitutes, stay away. But if you have a sense of humor about the world today, and if you're looking for a goofy film to riff on with your friends, and ESPECIALLY if you're searching for a wild card film to play on a Halloween party eve with some soused compadres, you can't do much better than this misguided, eighties treatise on consumer culture and pasty-white after-dinner treats.Read full review
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: New
While this wasn't the terrifying movie I remembered as portrayed by the commercials as a kid it's still a must have title. Highly recommended for 80s cheesy horror.
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: New
I have been watching this movie since it came out. I am glad to finally have it on blu-ray. It is a favorite of mine since I was a kid.
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: New
A great classic!
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: Pre-owned
This is a silly, fun film.
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: Pre-owned
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