For those out there who don’t know what a wingman is, it is the buddy that follows around his friend in the bar, club, AA meeting, whatever when he is trying to meet women and doesn’t want to look like a schmuck. The concept of the wingman comes from fighter pilots – the wingman is the flyer that hangs off of the lead pilot’s wing (a little behind him and to the side) and follows and supports.
The wingman in the dating scene is the buddy that follows along and supports the guy on the prowl (think of the Roxbury). A lot of people think that a wingman is *just* the following:
1) The guy that hangs out with the buddy in bar when he isn't talking to anyone. This avoids making the leadman look like that kid in the school cafeteria without friends (and trust me...talking on the cell phone to nobody only works for about 2 minutes)
2) The guy that has to talk to the female "friend" while the leadman is working his magic.
This above levels of Wingman-ness is not all that there is. To do the above would basic make you a Garfunkle or Oats level of Wingman (just kind of there, but not really doing much) The following is how to seriously kick it up a notch.
Rule #1 – Never leave your wingman.
In Top Gun, Maverick didn’t figure this out until the very end, but it is the truth. No matter what is going on, you never leave your wingman. Your job is to support the lead man (and you really can’t support him if you are off on the dance floor breakdancing or flying solo on some other mission…)
Rule #2 – Your job is to make your lead man look good.
If the conversation flails, you have to step in and keep it going, but make all attempts to send the attention to the lead man. (i.e. “Oh, this reminds me of the time that my buddy here carried my sorry sack out of the Da Nang” or “Do you remember when you saved that small Mexican village from El Guapo?”) What a lot of people don’t realize is that Wingmen are not supposed to draw attention to themselves and they are not supposed to make the lead man look stupid – save the embarrassing stories for the sausage convention.
Rule #3 – You can only have one wingman
If you go out with a whole army of wingmen, you just scare everyone off as if you are going out to rumble with a neighboring gang. A lot of people make this mistake thinking that they will look better if they have a bunch of people to hang out with, but the truth is you look insecure or like one of the Village People. If you don't feel comfortable being the sole wingman, then you should probably just stay home and watch Showtime at the Apollo or something because you aren't going to be helping the leadman do much of anything but walk aimless circles around the club.
Rule #4 – Take the hit for the team
You are expendable. You have to be ready to take the bullet if you need to. Now, it is obvious that you are the one that has to entertain the less-attractive friend (your job is to convince the friend that the lead man is not a loser…the ladies will compare notes in the bathroom). Your job is actually much more than that. If another guy rolls in, your job is to run the interference. You see, the lead guy cannot be seen as the territorial jerk because women don’t like that. If someone has to be the jerk and throw down in a club (either it being a fight, break-off or battle of the "your momma is so fat..." wits), it has to be the wingman and not the leadman. Alternatively, if you don't think that you can take the guy that is blocking...then it is your job to get beat up and then the leadman can step in and help save you as you are curled up in a ball on the floor crying.
Getting thrown out of a club for fighting while running interference is pretty much the only acceptable reason for leaving your wingman.
It is also the wingman’s job to take the blame for anything embarrassing that happens throughout the evening, “Yes, I ripped that fart" or "That was my Backstreet Boys CD in his car".
Rule #5 – The Wingman never pays
The Leadman must know. In return for the services to the cause, the Wingman doesn’t pay for anything throughout the night – Drinks, food, cab ride home, pornography, whatever it takes – the Leadman always pays.