FEEDBACK ETIQUETTE netiquette POSITIVE neutral NEGATIVE

eBay users take feedback very seriously and there are a lot of written and unwritten rules regarding the use of feedback.  One of the biggest complaints seasoned eBayers have is that certain new eBay users (newbies) do not understand feedback etiquette.  The intention of this guide is to allow newbies an understanding of some of the attitudes veterans have toward feedback.  HOWEVER, every eBay user is different with widely diverging attitudes.  The opinions here are general.  Some are very controversial.  A few opinions aren't even mine, but they reflect a general consensus.

POSITIVE FEEDBACK IS PREFERRED - This may sound axiomatic, but eBay users prefer to get positive feedback to not getting any feedback.  They certainly prefer positive to negative or neutral.  Most eBay users also prefer to get positive feedback for EVERY transaction.  So if you buy 10 different items in 10 different lots, they would like to get 10 positive feedback out of the deal.

SPECIFICS ARE APPRECIATED, BUT NOT NECESSARY -  If you particularly liked the fast shipping, or secure packing, or friendly communication, or accurate descriptions, or clear pictures, or high quality product,  then consider saying so in your feedback.  This will help others to discern the "flavor" of that person's feedback.  On the other hand, if you want to make all your positive feedback say "A+ Thanks!", feel free.

AVOID LEAVING POSITIVE FEEDBACK THAT ISN'T REALLY POSITIVE - Some people get really bent out of shape about this sort of stuff.  A positive that reads "product arrived despite slow shipping" might really set your seller off.  People have wound up on "blocked bidder lists" or even gotten negative feedback in return for stuff like that.  If you have something critical to say, and you feel it must be said, it's best to communicate that in a polite email to the seller.

NEVER RESPOND TO A POSITIVE THAT ISN'T REALLY A POSITIVE - In time, the back-handed compliment will fall off the first page of feedback and is unlikely to be read by anyone other than future anthropologists or historians.  That is, UNLESS  YOU RESPOND to the feedback.  By responding, you draw attention to it and people will see it as a "faux-neutral" and by extention, "faux-negative, once removed".

FEEDBACK IS OPTIONAL - you DON'T HAVE to leave feedback.  This is especially true if you are tempted to leave a neutral, a negative, or a positive that isn't really a positive.  As your mama told you, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."  Just walk away.

NEUTRAL FEEDBACK SHOULD NEVER BE GIVEN (FIRST) -  sellers generally prefer NO FEEDBACK whatsoever to Neutral or Negative.  Neutral is generally considered to be a "faux negative".  Some sellers will return negs for neutrals, just to drive this point home.  Why does neutral feedback exist?  Because in the very early days of eBay, when dinosaurs ruled the earth, it was thought that Neutral feedback was the "default" feedback, and that positive and negatives were save for extreme circumstances.  In fact, when a user went NARU (Not A Registered User), ALL of their feedback left (positive and negative) "reverted" to neutral.  As eBay progressed, people preferred to get positive feedback, especially once certain eBay benefits were tied to the amount of feedback and percentage of positives one had.

Neutral feedback SHOULD be considered in response to RECEIVING a neutral feedback, in lieu of leaving a negative.  Neutrals are also sometimes returned for negs, as in "buyer should have contacted before leaving neg".  However, this is overly generous.  Most sellers will leave neg for neg.

NOT ALL SELLERS LEAVE FEEDBACK FIRST - If that is their decision, it is generally considered polite to accept the decision.  Some buyers think that they "deserve" a positive the second they pay, since "their part in the matter has ended".  And some sellers will oblige these bidders.  However, there are many good reasons a seller might have for not leaving feedback first.

It is possible that the seller values customer satisfaction and does not consider a deal to be finished until the customer is satisfied.  If you receive the widget and are not happy with it, they want a chance to make it right so you will be happy.  This is less likely to happen if you simply drop a neg on their feedback profile without giving them a chance to make things right.

Another reason is that some sellers have their feedback automated, so that a positive is returned automatically for a positive.  In this manner, they can concentrate on their business rather than remembering who they left feedback for.

Also, not every buyer is as scrupulously honest as you are.  Some will "pay" and then file a chargeback.  Some will claim the item is damaged, and demand a replacement or insurance money.  Some will say the item is "not as described" and then replace the item with a damaged item when they return.  Most selles who refuse to leave feedback first do so because of a bad incident that happened in their past.  They got burned once and they don't want to get burned again.  The idea that your job is over the second a seller gets paid is akin to saying that a father's job is over the second the egg is fertilized.  It simply is not true.

NEVER BEG FOR FEEDBACK - A series of emails asking "where's my feedback" might result in a neg saying "here's your freakin' feedback".  If you feel you must ask for feedback, please say so one time in a polite email.  Preferably, an email that has a completely different topic where the feedback request is just an aside.

SOME PEOPLE DON'T LEAVE FEEDBACK - this is particularly frustrating for sellers.  The average seller receives feedback about 70-85% of the time.  If you see a seller with 1,000 feedback, it probably should be 1,200 at least.

AVOID MENTIONING THE CIRCUMSTANCES UNDER WHICH YOU WOULD LEAVE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK - This is a tricky one, but there is an eBay rule against "feedback extortion".  Feedback extortion is generally meant to mean that you can't say "give me $ 5 cash or I'll give you a negative feedback", but the rule is interpreted so broadly (especially by eBay users), that the mere mention of the words "negative feedback" might send the other party flying off the handle.  If you feel you must reference feedback, make it general and positive sounding like "I'm looking forward to getting this issue resolved and will leave appropriate feedback when it is."

MUTUAL WITHDRAWL USUALLY DOES NOT ERASE THE COMMENTS - When you file for "mutual withdrawl", you are asking eBay to remove the gray or red DOT next to your comment.  Your words will still remain, so it's best not to write something you'll later regret.  eBay will sometimes REMOVE feedback entirely, but usually only because there is profanity, personal information or other inappropriate content.  Be especially aware of mutually withdrawing two neutrals, as some might assume these both used to be negs.

ONLY LEAVE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK AS AN ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT - The best reason to leave a neg is if you honestly believe the other party is perpetrating a fraud and that other eBay users should be warned.  Another good reason to leave a neg is if they left you a neg without giving you a chance to make things right.  Otherwise, ask yourself:  "Did I give the other party a chance to make things right?"  "Was I at least partly to blame for the problem?"  "What would (insert name of spiritual or philosophical guide here) do?"  And remember:  FEEDBACK IS OPTIONAL.  When in doubt, leave it out.

WHEN LEAVING A NEG OR NEUTRAL, STICK TO THE FACTS. - This is more an opportunity to tell your side of a bad transaction than a chance to slam the other party.  "Major defect not described in listing.  Seller would not refund."  Stuff like that.  Do not use profanity of any kind.  Do not call the other party names.  Do not refer to a law enforcement / eBay / Paypal investigation.  That will reflect poorly on you, and eBay will likely remove those comments.

WAIT 24 HOURS BEFORE LEAVING A NEG OR NEUTRAL - Cool off for a little bit and ask yourself:  is this really that bad?  If you still feel livid after a day, then consider dropping the neg.

FEEDBACK THE SELLER, NOT THE PRODUCT - Say you buy a movie, and the plot is thin with weak characters.  DON'T FAULT THE SELLER.  They didn't make the movie.  EXCEPTION:  If the seller actually DID make the product, or if you feel the description was deliberately deceptive, then share your experience.