Oh, how people suffer over past relationships... and for good reason too. Most of us have big hearts and we yearn to share our love with others and to also have love reciprocated back to us. Many folks only identify with their own vast reserviour of love when it's being directed at another person, and therefore it can be near impossible to move on once an old relationship has ended. It is perfectly natural to feel you must try, try again to smooth things out with an ex-lover. Some of these folks then look to magic to give them a spiritual boost in an attempt to mend ways with their lover.
Read on for a fantastic, super powerful, unequaled reconciliation spell. But before you get to the spell, please read the prerequisites detailed below - things you must consider before engaging in magical reconciliation work.
I am a spiritual worker, and i get several requests as week - at least - from heart-broken folks asking me if i can help them magically to win back their lover. I empathize fully with their situation, but I don't frequently take on this type of work. It's not because I don't want to help - quite the contrary - it's just that due to the complex nature of reconciliation work, with the turbulent emotions of anger, resentment, betrayal, and jealousy, people often don't get the outcome they were hoping for.
In this guide I will try my best to offer my take, from a magical perspective, of why reconciliation work fails, and in doing so give you a set of prerequisites you will have to commit to before undertaking this work. I will also include a powerful spell for you to try yourself. If you have never done magic on your own behalf, fear not. Magic does not have to be veiled in secrecy, nor do you have to have years of experience and training before you can expect results. Just the opposite is usually true - a magic spell cast by a sincere person with an willing heart and open mind can be just as effective, if not more effective, than a professional. In reconciliation work, this is doubly so. Provided you can manage the proper mindframe and perspective, which i will elaborate on below, you will be far more passionate about the reconciliation and your petition to God will be 1000 times more heartfelt than any magic professional could ever muster - no matter how super-duper they claim to be. This is the will, energy, and intent magic needs to do its work out in the Universe, and you can empower yourself to do this work.
For a more thorough review of this topic, please refer to my other guide entitled "Cast Your Own Magic Spell - No Matter Your Experience."
Throughout this guide, I will use the pronoun "him" to specify the ex-lover. I mean no disrespect to men; it's just for uniformity and my own ease. Obviously, insert the word "her" if that is more appropriate for your situation.
BEFORE YOU CAN CONSIDER A RECONCILIATION SPELL YOU MUST FIRST:
1) Be able to forgive your mate. I know this is A LOT easier said than done, I know, I know. But think about it: your mate probably already feels badly, in many instances your ex was unfaithful, knows they did wrong and are ashamed deep down - so do you think they want to return back to their jilted ex who's going to take much satisfaction in rubbing their face in it? Um...No.
Okay, so if you want him back, you need to be someone he would want to return to. That means no rage, no guilt trips, no cold shoulder. Reconciliation work is some of the holiest magic out there - repeat, some of the HOLIEST work out there mainly because it hinges on forgiveness. Look at the symbol of the Sacred Heart: a heart wounded - punctured by a sword - but that overflows with perfect, forgiving, all-encompassing Love. That's the energy you want to tap into - not the hateful, nagging, hen-pecking wrench energy. If you aren't there yet, if the wounds are too raw, please refrain from taking magical action until you are able to forgive. Seek spiritual help or therapy for a jump start.
2) Be able to change that which you can, and what you are willing, about yourself in the furtherance of being a better mate. Are there things you did that your ex hated? Are these things you can change without harming your essence or your esteem? Well, consider changing them.
As an example: about two years ago I made a conscious decision to stop micro-managing my husband. I had created an unequal relationship by my controling and commanding, and was in the process of twisting our roles into a some sick, unhealthy mother-son relationship. By changing my behaviors I learned powerful spiritual truths, namely, I can not control what in life my husband is destined to do, nor do I know the grand plans that God enacts, and has in store, for my husband every single day. By superimposing my will and my opinions on what I think my husband should or should not be doing, I was basically thumbing my nose at God, in essence showing my distrust in God's plan for my husband, my distrust that things were unfolding exactly as they should. Now, I'm more aware of this tendency of mine, and you can well believe my husband is a much happier man (and so am I). This is just one example of positive changes one can endeavor for the sake of their relationship. If you're not ready to consider it, you're not ready to reconcile your relationship.
3) Be able to apologize for your shortcomings to your ex. Do some soul-searching into the role you played in the dissolution of this relationship. Will you be able to look your mate in the eye while you offer a sincere apology?
4) Consider all the ways you can make your home (and your bed) a more desirable place for your ex to return to. I don't mean redecorate or buy a big screen tv - I mean make your home a safe haven for him, his sanctuary away from emotional abuse and stress. This harks back to Number One: Forgive him and move on emotionally. Do not drive him out the door again with your incessant complaining and guilt-tripping.
5) In order to do the spell I'm providing, you must be able to write a sincere letter of apology, forgiveness, and reconciliation to your ex-lover. I know that can be vulnerable and scary, but it's one of the most important parts of this working. Logistically, you'll need his current address. Obviously if you don't have this, you won't be able to mail the letter, and this step can't be skipped. You have to be able to contact him - and text messaging is just not magical enough!
6) If you ex has taken up with a new lover or was unfaithful to you with a mistress, you must forgive this new lover as well. Possibly one of the most profound things you can do to effect your own healing is to bless the mistress, wish her well, and hope she finds lasting love in a new relationship. You may not stalk her, wish harm to her, threaten her, or abuse your ex about taking up with her (as in: "I never knew you liked ugly women," or "What'd you see in that wh*re?"). Although we all understand your hurt feelings, really we do, these low emotions again affect the holiness of your reconciliation spellwork (remember the Sacred Heart, now). Rise above it and see how quickly you heal.
7) Set a hard and fast timeframe to work on this reconciliation. After the end of this timeframe you set for yourself, if you do not have your lover back by then, you vow to move on. This is fantastic advice from one of my teachers - something that is easily overlooked. People can also easily go off the deep end into obsessiveness without any time boundaries. In prayer ask God for a time limit when working for reconciliation. It could be three months, six months, one year, etc. The right time will be clear to you. Mark that date on a calendar - your cut-off date. Do positive magic for reconciliation, and if you do not have your man by this date, you MUST move on, drop this relationship, and do no more magic work. If you're having an especially hard time letting go, there are spiritual supplies that address this exact need called Cut and Clear. Again, there is no shame in asking for help.
8) Have a deep and honest heart-to-heart with yourself. Completely dissolve the victim mentality - it only feeds you ego, and your ego does not love anyone but yourself. Think of all the ways you contributed to the dissolution of the relationship. These are important as they are key to your reconciliation. Again, you want something nice for your mate to come home to. If you can't take a sincere look inside yourself, you will attract shallow lovers who can't go deep themselves.
Also consider why you want your mate back, especially if he was unfaithful. What do you think you deserve? What makes this man particularly special? You may think that this man is your soulmate, that you could never do better, but you're incorrect. God wants you to be happy - it is your birthright - and if you are clinging to a no-good man, one who is unfaithful, or emotionaly abusive, bad for your self-esteem, is totally non-commital, acts like a child, uses you, is addicted, has nightmare family, treats your children badly, and/or spends all your money, etc., please know that God will always provide a better man for you once you do the deep soul-searching and once you completely cut ties with this current man who does not have your best interest at heart. You deserve all the happiness in the world, but I do understand that you must try. Please keep to that time limit you set, and by the end, if you're not happily reunited with your mate, please work on healing and attracting in a new and better man into your life.
LOVER, RETURN TO ME SPELL
A Magical Working for Reconciliation
* A word of gratitude to an important teacher, miss cat of Lucky Mojo. We are blessed by her generosity, and her prolific sharing of her magical techniques and wisdom. This spell draws on some of her teachings, notably the honey jar technique. I don't know how I ever managed without it and am deeply grateful.
There are a lot of supplies and a lot of steps involved with this particular spell. This spell is complex becuase reconciliation is complex. If you want it bad enough, you will follow this spell to the letter. You are being aided by many naturally powerful items such as Lodestones and Herbs which will combine with your intent to help effect your reconciliation. Don't leave out any steps.
Do not be intimidated - you can do it, many others have paved the way. Read my other guide entitled "Cast Your Own Magic Spell..." for more info, and also don't hesitate to contact me with any questions. If you are contemplaing this spell, please read it over in its entirety several times before starting. All the supplies can be purchased at your local occult shop or botanica, and can also be easily had from any number of online merchants. I also make and sell kits which include all of these supplies plus a printed version of this spell. I charge around $20 for this kit. Please contact me if you are interested in purchasing a Reconciliation Spell Kit. I will also offer substitution suggestions in the body of the spell to save you money on supplies.
You will need:
~ 8 Red 4" candles ~ 2 small candleholders with a small base ~ Reconciliation Condition Oil ~ Reconciliation Incense ~ a packet of Love Herbs (about 1/2 cup) ~ a matched pair of xsmall or small Lodestones of the appropriate gender (male/female, male/male, female/female depending) ~ a small bag of Magnetic Sand ~ a pair of Balm of Gilead Buds ~ a clean and empty glass jar with a METAL lid (a mason jar, salsa jar, etc.) ~ enough honey to fill this jar halfway ~ stationary ~ two squares of paper about 3"x3" ~ a pencil ~ an incense burner for loose incense, not a stick burner unless you're using stick incense (you can use a small cast iron skillet and put down an inch or more of kosher salt to protect the finish if you desire) ~ a pin
1) Re-read the spell a dozen times or so until you are familiar with it. Collect all the supplies and lay them out on your altar space. This needs to be a cleared off table or counterspace of at least 18." You will need to keep the altar set up for 7 days, if not longer, so consider a space that is private. Some folks have erected altars on top of a refridgerator, on their bedside table, or in a closet. You will have to burn candles, so keep that in mind when selecting an altar space. Decorate this altar with any other personal items which represent love and your relationship such as photos, flowers, cards, etc. Make sure you leave yourself plenty of room, though.
2) Start this spell on a Friday morning, preferably before dawn, certainly before you have begun the mundane aspects of your day. Expect to devote two hours for the first morning's work. Prepare youself in any way which feels right to you - bathe with a special Rose-scented soap, meditate, smudge yourself with a Sage wand, pray, etc. Make sure you will not be bothered, lock your door and take your phone off the hook.
3) When ready, stand before your altar and light some incense. Use a magical incense for extra power such as Reconciliation, or use regular Rose, Vanilla, or Sandalwood stick or cone incense to save on money.
The spell has begun.
4) Set up the altar as follows: incense burner in the back right corner, jar in the center, filled halfway with honey, other supplies in the back left corner. You are going to prepare a candle to represent yourself which will start on the far left side center about 9 inches away from the honey jar. You are going to prepare a candle symbolizing your lover which will start on the far right side center, again about 9 inches away from the honey jar. These two candles are going to move slowly together during the spell, symbolizing you and your ex coming back together, until they reach the honey jar and then they'll burn together, reunited.
5) Before all that, though, prepare a name paper for yourself. Use a small square of paper. Write the sentence "I am open to forgiveness and reconciliation" across the center. Feel this statement as you write it. Turn the paper 90 degrees and sign your name over the sentence, making a cross, your name over the petition. Set this on the left side of the altar.
6) Create a name paper for your ex. Do it in the same manner as above, but sign his name instead. Set this down on the right side of the altar.
7) Prepare your candle. Take one of your red candles, and using the pin, carve your initials over his initials with a plus sign in the middle surrounded by a heart - you know, the kind of thing people carve into trees. Carve the words "Return to Me" on one side writing in a vertical line, from top to bottom, one letter on top of the other. Carve any other symbols like a peace sign, more hearts, personal symbols such as astrology gylphs, etc.
Rub Reconciliation Condition Oil on the candle from the wick downward, with the base of the candle pointing at your heart. As you do so, state with great feeling "(Name of lover), Return to Me." Place your candle in a candleholder on top of your name paper on the left side of the altar.
If you cannot afford to purchase a magic Condition Oil such as Reconciliation, you may anoint each candle with a bit of honey from the jar - it's used to sweeten your relationship and sweeten your lover back to you.
8) Prepare his candle the same way except carve his initials on top of yours inside the heart. Again speak your petition out loud, "(Name), Return to Me." Place his candle in a holder over his name paper on the right side. Make sure both candles are in the center of the altar with the honey jar in the middle, each candle about 9" or so from the honey jar, about 18" apart from each other.
9) Take out your Lodestones and find out which one is the male and which one is the female. Males are more pointed, pyramid shaped, elongated, phallic. Female Lodestones are more rounded, square shaped, and squat. Add a pinch of Magnetic Sand to the two stones and figure out which sides draw the strongest to each other, like depicted in the photo below. They should also snuggle nicely together on that same side. This is the way the two Lodestones are going to be facing each other during the spell.
Place the female Lodestone against your candle also on top of the name paper (if you are a woman. If you're a man obviously use the male Lodestone with your candle representation and the same gender Lodestone as your lover). Make sure the strong side is facing inwards towards your lover's candle. Place the male Lodestone in the same manner with your ex's candle.
10) Feed each Lodestone first with a drop of Reconciliation Condition Oil, then a pinch of Magnetic Sand. Name your Lodestones with your name and the name of your mate. As you oil and sprinkle Magnetic Sand on each one, speak to them by name something like this: "Mary-stone, thank you for attracting my John back to me," and for your lover's stone: "John-stone, thank you for returning to me."
Lodestones are natural magnets and are used magically to attract people, money, and luck. Their powers are unparalleled in this type of working. You can also use a regular magnet - pry them off the back of two refrigerator magnets. Some people claim fantastic results with regular magnets. I've never used them, but I don't see why they wouldn't work. If you are not using Condition Oil, use honey to anoint the Lodestones. To save a few more bucks you can scape a small amount of "homemade" Magnetic Sand by taking a flat screwdriver to the backside of a real cast iron pan. Use these scrapings to sprinkle on your Lodestones or magnets.
11) Anoint each Balm of Gilead Bud with a dab of Reconciliation Condition Oil and place one bud by each Lodestone.
12) Sprinkle your Love Herbs in a rough circle surrounding your candles and the honey jar. As you do so say with emotion, "(Name of Lover), return to me." If you can't afford to buy prepared magic spell herbs, make your own reconciliation blend choosing an odd number of the following common household herbs: Rose Petals, Corriander Seeds, Cumin Seeds, Rosemary, Sugar, Catnip, Ginger, Juniper Berries, and/or Majoram.
13) Make sure your incense is still going. Light the candles starting with yours first. As you light each one say, "(Name of Lover), Return to Me." Pray for forgiveness and reconciliation. You may also read relevant scripture and prayers which you have researched beforehand. Try the Song of Songs and A Love Song by St. Teresa of Avila.
14) After several minutes of prayer and when you feel "right," move the two candles, with the name papers, Lodestones, and Balm of Gilead Buds, closer together by about an inch. As you do so again say, "(Name of Lover), Return to Me." Each time you move your candles closer, add a pich of Magnetic sand to each Lodestone. Pray.
15) Now, write a heartfelt letter to God. If you are uncomfortable with this idea, write a letter to the Universe or your Higher Self. Write this letter in the center of your altar in between the candles and in front of the honey jar. Write this letter in present tense, like all your prayers have already been answered. Thank God for reconciliation, for healing your heart, for forgiveness. Include the lessons you both have learned and how you are a better person. Tell God your future plans for your relationship.
This letter may go somewhat like this: Dear God, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for warming John's heart and bringing him safely back to me. God, we feel your loving presence; it has touched our lives profoundly. Thank you for mending my sorrows, helping me to trust, and to put my utmost faith in Your divine plan for my life. I have learned so much in the past few months...
Be detailed, take your time. Write a page at least. Remember to thank God for the perfect outcome which you have already received. Sign your letter at the bottom affirming, "As God as my witness, these truthful words shall come to pass."
While writing your letter, say every five minutes or so, move the candles and Lodestones closer together by 1-2 inch increments. Each time you do so, say with deep feeling: "(Name of lover), return to me." Time your letter writing and candle moving so that by the time you are finished with your letter, the two candles are about 3 inches apart, a little in front of the honey jar.
16) Finally, move the two candles together. Have them be as close as their candleholders allow, ideally with their two flames joined as one. Say "(Name of Lover), United in Love, You Return to Me." Sprinkle enough Magnetic Sand on the two Lodestones, which should now be touching, to cover them.
17) Now read your letter to God out loud with sincere emotion. When you are finished, fold this letter in half towards you and place it under the honey jar. Stay in prayer while the two candles burn down. Be open to any guidance you may receive.
18) When the candles extinguish, chip up the candle wax and put it inside the honey jar. Take your lover's name paper and smear the writing side with honey. Put the Lodestones still snuggled together, their Magnetic Sand, the Balm of Gilead Buds, and a pinch of the Spell Herbs on the center of the honeyed name paper. Take your name paper and gently press it down on top of his name paper, writting sides together, enclosing the Lodestones and other items. Place this inside the honey jar as well, pushing down so it's covered by the honey. Add some of the Love Herbs to the honey jar as well. If you have any personal items from your lover, such as a hair, fingernail clipping, handwritting sample, or snip of worn clothing, add this to the honey jar along with a personal items of yours. Cap the jar tightly. You are done with Day 1. End with prayer and go about your day.
19) On day two, in the morning prepare yourself in the same manner as the day before. Take your letter to God out from under the honey jar. Fix one red candle in the same manner, this time carving your lover's intitials on top of yours, oiling it, lighting incense, and now burn this single candle ON TOP of the honey jar. As you light the candle again state, "(Name of lover), return to me." Read your letter out loud and pray. Let the candle burn down without extinguishing it. Don't pick at the wax drippings that may form on the side of the jar. Let them accumulate.
20) On day three, proceed in the same manner as day two - fix your candles, read the letter to God, pray. This time, though, compose an apology and reconciliation letter to your mate. Write this letter while the candle and incense are burning. Include the following things in your letter: apologize for your transgressions, forgive him for his, offer reconciliation and a desire to rekindle the relationship. Sign your name at the bottom and kiss your signature, getting your essence onto the paper. Sprinkle some of the herbs on the letter and run your fingers through the herbs lightly moving toward your body. Let the reconciliation letter stay on your altar for the next four days. You can place it under the honey jar if you so desire.
21) On days four through six continue fixing and lighting candles to burn on top of the honey jar. Let the reconciliation letter stay in the center of your altar or under the honey jar.
22) On day seven, fix and light your last candle. While it burns, place the reconciliation letter in an addressed envelop. Before folding the letter up and sealing it, shake the herbs off and waive it in incense smoke. Hold it pressed against your heart and pray for reconciliation. Seal it with another kiss. Pray while the candle burns down.
23) Finish up the spell by collecting the remnants: the Spell Herbs, incense ash, and any wax that has accumulated off of the honey jar. Do not pick off the wax on the top or sides of the honey jar. Wrap these items in tissue paper, a clean piece of cloth, or an envelope. Keep your letter to God under the honey jar or amongst your most sacred items. Place the honey jar in a special place, preferably by your bed. Build a love altar around it if you wish.
You may chose to continue burning a fixed candle a day on top of the honey jar if you so desire. You could also burn a candle every Friday to continue the work as well. I would recommend it.
24) Anoint your body with the Reconciliation Condition Oil, dress in clean clothes, and walk outside to mail your letter. Keep a solemn mindframe, praying while you go about your task.
Bury the spell remnants outside your front door. If you live in an apartment, bury them in a potted plant. The remnants will help attract your lover to you and your home.
The spell is done.
~ Please remember to keep to your time limit discussed above when doing reconciliation work. For a boost, wear Reconciliation Condition Oil as a magical perfume and burn Reconciliation Incense in your home.
~ I hope this spell is of service. Use it in peace and health.
My sincere wishes for your happiness,
PS: I am no longer taking new clients or selling my wares on eBay. Please see my blog for a list of referrals - go to my About Me page, scroll down for the link to my blog, and this list of recommended workers and suppliers is one of the more recent posts. Thanks again for your support, sorry for any disappointments, and God bless! (February 2011)